Hello fellas. Welcome to the planet Jupiter, also known as the where-Ryan-goes-to-write place. As usual I bring you news, updates and just random crap. Today’s selection; The Mcm expo (which I’m not gonna write in capitals. I’m lazy), The Election (yes, I’m that big a douche-bag) and updates with regards to my short stories and this nifty little blog I found where people are just awesome.
So the London expo.
Random voice in my head: But Ryan. . . wasn’t this expo you speak of held 3 weekends ago?
Ryan: Yes. What’s your point?
Voice: Why blog about it now?
Ryan: Cos now is when I feel like it.
Voice: But. . .
Ryan: Shut up, Bitch!
Voice: Sorry @@
My apologies is your mind is blown and you’re picking up the pieces as if you’re a scavenger during the zombie apocalypse.
So the Expo was interesting to say the least. Shaun and I went there for a total of 4 days. Although time travels differently in London. Either that, or the space-time cortex in our brains froze off during our 1 hour walk to find a subway sandwich place. Yes: we WALKED AN HOUR to find a place which didn’t have Hebrew in the name and didn’t deep fry everything. One day Brits will discover flavour and they’re gonna freak!!
So we go in the hostel we’re staying at and it’s. . . not horrible. Well the comments of some sites scared the crap out of us but it turned out most of it was crap. Only set back was that the owner was Indian and was indecipherable. For the next 3 days (Friday till Sunday) we rush out of bed, Shaun puts on his costume, and we catch 3 trains, all packed with cosplayed nerds. Meanwhile I lug round over 50kg worth of books. Not fun.
First day: We get sent to the wrong table, set up on the wrong table and get sent away. We are pissed off and no one knows where we should be. We ask 4 different security/officials and they give us 4 different directions. Finally we find out where we should be and we set up. I see Ryan Sohmer pass by and have possibly my biggest fan-boy moment in my life. Shaun starts giving me shit, until Eisei comes along and then his brain cells shut down. Dumbass.
Oh and did I mention: No one comes to our table. We make maybe 5 sales between us. Keh.
Second day: We arrive at our table, spend some quality time with Eisei, Who bdw is the best saleswoman on Earth. Seriously, this chick gets us a whole bunch of people to our table, and they actually buy stuff. Well to be fair she is the most attractive member of the trio. And Japanese. And wearing a short-skirt school girl costume. Need I say more? Well, to be fair it was a cosplay. I dunno which character and I don’t care.
Day three: we push as much merch as we can and try not to cry during out departure with Eisei.
Then I come home and, tears in my eyes, write Late Goodbye, which can be found somewhere in this blog.
Over all Experience: Had fun, made lifetime friends, definitely going again. Maybe next time I’ll be represented.
That’s it. I’ve written it, it’s over, moving on.
Now that the election of the World Government, I mean America, is over I can start another campaign where I shall have beautiful tweets, freebie days and cherubim singing. It will be so awesome that you will be able to hear ‘Wings of Icarus’ by Celldweller (YouTube it) in the background, even when there is a blackout. Especially during a blackout! And now every Sandy victim who happens to read this thinks I’m an asshole. Seriously though, I hope you guys are safe.
Voice: But Ryan didn’t you state above that you would share your thoughts about the American election? Do you have any?
Ryan: Yes I do. I believe the character of Abe Lincon during the epic rap battle of history ‘Romney vs Obama’ summed up my thoughts quite well with the line:
“The President shall not be the shiniest of two turds”.
I believe this applies to the local elections as well (not that anyone care about those.)
Voice: Erm. . . Ryan. . . Now everyone in America hates you.
Ryan: Fuck the haters. What America, what the World, needs right now is a Liberal, pot-smoking, feminist who actually knows what’s happening in places like Wall Street, who knows about the Russian band Pussy Riot and who is aware of how screwed up the economy is. A sense of humour wouldn’t hurt either.
Voice: So essentially you want Greg Proops to be the President of the United States?
The rest of Malta: *raises hand* Ryan, who is this Greg Proops you speak of?
Ryan: HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WILL YOU COCKSUCKERS EVER GET SOME CULTURE IN YOU???
So yeah. That happened.
On to Updates. I have joined SFF Saturday!!! What is SFFS you ask? Why a blog, much like this one. Except that over there, professionals write and the word ‘cocksuckers’ is used in an artistic way. I don’t see the difference. I consider asking a whole country to fuck off a work of art. But that’s just me.
Sff sat blog is where a group of writers post snippets – a 10 sentence paragraph and then let others comment. It’s like So You Think You Can Write and the panel is just so freakin’ awesome. I’d like to thank everyone who commented on my SFFS posts. You really make my weekend filled with rainbows and butterflies.
And for the last update.
So far I have been posting snippets of Chapter 1 (from Firstborn) on SFFS. They like it apparently. And this gave me an idea.
I have a short story in mind and I plan to write it in snippets. Yep, this story will be in scenes of 10 lines each. So far I have the first one done, and at 7 sentences, it’s, in my opinion good. I dunno how long it’s gonna be; probably I’ll kill everyone off when I get bored.
I’m gonna keep posting snippets of Chapter 1, until I run out. Then I’ll start posting this short story. And continue depending on response. Who does that sound?
What I’m basically saying is, when I blog a post with SFFS, read it and leave a comment. And browse others’ posts as well. There are some really good ones.
So yeah, it’s been a busy few weeks. Between doing the gangnam style horse riding dance and singing both disney and old 70’s rock songs in our room in England (I’m straight but I don’t vouch for it. Or asexual. Which means I dislike everybody. Shaun’s undecided), taking on a short-story project and hunting for agents, it’s no wonder my headaches are increasing and I find myself conversing in the mirror with more frequency.
Until next time. Remember, check out my SFFs posts and Firstborn on Amazon.
I’d say bye, but I’m not really gone. (Creeeeeepppppppppyyyyyyyyyy)