Cover Reveal

Ok Let’s do a check:

Donuts in my stomach – check.

Soft drink which if you believe the 70′s may have been spiked with cocaine – check.

OK I think we’re ready to roll.

Ladies and Gents, the day has come, the hour upon us, the clock striking the hour with the fervency of a coked up dude trying to press a TV remote.

It is time for the cover reveal.

First off I apologize for being late (not in the pregnant way, but I do enjoy peeing on sticks). I was lathering my self up in the shower because in my head, I had to pretty myself up for you. Of course I could be sitting here with a beard and a sundress and you wouldn’t know any better.

But look:

jjeeiaif

(Look at the puppy. Or the dolphin. Seriously what animal do I look like?)

But I digress.

The first order of business is The Raffle. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwSKkKrUzUk (Just setting the mood)

The winner, OF . . . a brand-spanking-new (love that phrase) digital copy of Firstborn – Book 1 of the Legacy series by Moi

IS

(drumroll)

Cassandra Loskot

(Cheers) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cRWyjaFpoE

Thank you to all the participants – you are wonderful people and you are more awesome than you know. In fact, pick a number, multiply it by the age of the sun and the add as many zeros as your age and the resulting number would be your awesomeness level.

Note. Goku only has over 9000. So there.

(Get on with it, Ryan)

So thank you everyone. Cassandra, I will email you shortly to give you your present (Maybe a little something extra too *wiggle eyes*)

Be quiet Voice. Have some class.

And speaking of class, it’s time for that cover reveal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCij5LHJgXM

ANDDDD HEREEEEEE ITTTTTT ISSSSSSSS:

(dramatic pause)

firstborn front image

(awesome am I right?)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMJAVfx33AQ

OK first things first (that’s why they are called first things).

The cover was done by the talented Viola Estrella (https://www.facebook.com/violaestrella). She’s extremely talented, having whipped up that beauty in no time. Hats off Madam Estrella.

So about the book.

There’s a war raging between the forces of Heaven and
Hell; and, as if he didn’t have enough to deal with from his
own issues, his sister has chosen the wrong side.
Continue following the misadventures of Eric Ashendale in
this first full length novel of The Legacy Series, due to be
released in December of 2013.

This book represents the past 3 years of my life. There are at least 3 other posts on this site about how I quit everything and became a full time author so I’m not gonna go into it now. That’ll make this post twice as late.

But what I can say is that it is an Urban fiction paranormal thriller, with heavy doses of in-your-face humor and epic fight scenes. ( I grew up with the Power Rangers; what did you expect?)

The Legacy series is more or less 13 books in length and, yes, being a plotter I do have them all outlined and ready. I also am a very lazy author so everything I write I tend to recycle over and over again (until I kill them off – hehehe). I’m trying to hint that in this book I give a huge hint as to who the villain at the end of the series is but so far no one has come close to guessing.

I suppose you guys just have to read the novels.

For those of you who want a taste of the Legacy universe, Dread Night can be purchased here and for this week (Halloween) IT’S FREE.

So go get it. There’s a comment on my facebook page where someone said they read Dread Night and are waiting anxiously for the book to come out. So this short story is quiet literally a turn on. (OOOOO, You had to go there)

Also; the 2013: A Stellar Collection anthology has Big Wolf on Campus in it by yours truly.

Both stories are set before the events of Firstborn (so no spoilers, don’t worry, I’m a pro – yeah right) but give the reader a glimpse into the universe and characters.

So before I leave and try to catch some freakin’ sleep for the first time in 2 days, I shall leave you with this gem:

The Author’s Note from Firstborn.

Enjoy and judge at your discretion.

As an avid reader of fantasy and fiction books, Ryan got tired of waiting for his favorite authors to publish their next novels and decided to simply entertain himself instead. He would then spend the next 3 years learning in excruciating detail how come it takes authors such a long time to write a book that they can live with.
Ryan lives on a tiny island, sometimes not even shown on maps, where his only friends are animated drawings and disembodied voices. And since everything in the outside world is boring to him, he took a journey inwards with some of his own made up characters.
Enter the Legacy Series, a story about a cursed wizard with a huge magical handicap, a talking demonic cat and an evil twin sister as they save the world from evil in its various forms.
The name Firstborn has a quintuple meaning: Erik is a firstborn son, the main villain is considered a firstborn in biblical terms, the book is the first of the series and it is also Ryan’s first ever book. There is also another meaning but he cannot reveal it without divulging a secret which would unravel the end of the series.
According to his colleagues, manager and whip-bearer, Ryan is horribly addicted to what he does. He writes and writes and writes; sometimes forgetting to do those silly things like eat or sleep. Sometimes he looks up and wonders where last night’s starry skies have gone and why are there so many people walking on the street. Sometimes he deludes himself into taking a break, by going to a movie or listening to an album – but when he does, he is watching and listening, absorbing ideas and inspirations. Sometimes he even watches you, waiting in the shadows, in darkest recesses of your mind.
Ryan would like to declare that he should not be taken seriously. He is one of those annoying and slightly insane people who have conversations with wisps of air and write their Author’s Note in the third person.

 

Smell y’all later,

The One Not to be Taken Seriously

Social Media

Welcome, Ladies and Gents, to another segment of pointless ranting, crude comedy (I actually have that in writing – wtf are you talking about Ryan?) and just a tiny push of the precipice of insanity. Welcome to my schizo-diaries, where I describe exactly what elated me and what planted itself inside my butt through out the week. (I think we’ve reached a new low. Maybe it’s not a good idea to get high on incense before writing these.)

Today’s topic is social media and how apt it is – for I have taken a dive inside this wonderful and insidious world in an attempt to lure people into buying my book.

As I’m sure you’ve gathered by now I’m not a social person. I’m not anti-social – I just don’t care. I realized the other day that it takes me longer to reply to a marketing email than it does for me to write and edit an entire arc in my story. All the poor woman wanted were 2 links – just a copy and paste that would have taken my less than 3 seconds.

Farting takes longer for god’s sake!!

But I suppose that’s us crazy people.

I used to hate social media – for the longest time ever I refused to get a facebook account claiming that if I wanted to hear people bitching and spewing bullshit I could just get out of the house. Which I don’t do for that explicit reason. So there you have it.

It’s also I find, very easy to offend someone on these social media sites. I’m sarcastic – sarcasm is a tone – which is difficult to put in words unless you have time to edit. And I’m not editing my tweets or comments so flock off. I also find that when you’re liberal with words like ‘retard’ ‘fuck’ and ‘dumbass’ people tend to get hissy fits. Not you, the guy reading this blog – you’re cool and you know it (fistbumps).

You know who I’m talking about. We all have that one asshole friend who spews bigotry for oxygen and claims to be holier than thou. And usually these are the douchebags who respond to comments with caps.

So here’s a little law-laying with my stuff – comment, share and talk to me. But don’t judge and don’t take offense to anything.

That being said I found myself doing a lot of social media stuff this week. My facebook page has just reached over a 100 likes this week, and for that I wish you cookies and love. My twitter handle (@enkousama) is getting more and more followers everyday, and to be honest I pity those people because they have to read my insanity in real time.

I attended my first ever release party on Facebook. Here’s how dumb I am – I actually have to ask around because I though this was a real thing and I have to get a plane ticket to somewhere.

Stop it. Stop judging. Stop giggling. I can see you. I AM you.

I’ve also done my first ever raffle which I hope people are clicking on and entering. I’ll announce the winner next Tuesday so tune in then. I’ll also be posting my cover release and some info on Firstborn.

Also I’m uploading this:

dread night front image

See that? That’s the cover of Dread Night my Halloween short story. Get it here. Or here.

 

But enough promos – it’s time to get to the nitty gritty of things. Why Social Media is up my ass.

I think this is the device which signals the end of the world. I don’t think there will be a nuclear war or that the climates will fuck us all up. I think we will be extinct before that.

Here’s what social media lacks – 90% of communication is non-verbal. Just body and facial cues. We have lost that ability to send a message over to someone without the need of words (or radio waves for that matter).

I remember those years before facebook when I was going to bars and hanging out with friends. Remember how we used to make fun of our friends who would pick up chicks over drinks and then try to pass off the superficial relationship as something substantial?

Well, I miss those guys.

I see people nowadays – men lurking in a corner hoping to Jedi Mind trick women or those jackasses who pretend to be all nerdy and shy.

Here’s what I wish I saw – charm. What happened to just being charming in conversation and being fucking interesting? We lost that. Nowadays you see couples dating on facebook – are you fucking kidding me! What’s next – divorce by text message?

Look, I’m all for internationalism – without it I’d be an opinionated idiot without a penny. But no way am I going to build something substantial as a relationship or even a friendship over a bundle of terabytes. It’s well and good to be introduced to someone online, that’s what social media is for, but the idea of basing your relationship on just an internet connection is absurd.

Now I understand that it’s a little more complicated than my picture – I’m strangely OK with long-distance relationships because at least there you would have met your partner(s) even if’s just once on a fleeting trip to some long lost corner of the map that the British were too lazy to pen down.

And this is just how it all starts. We create entertainment and shows based on notions of social media. We’re so caught up trying to please person1029xxyz on some site that we forget that reality demands more of our attention that a click of a finger.

We live in a society completely divorced from reality – where we go ‘Oh no you didn’t’ at every little thing that sounds racist or anti-equality on that basis that is we immediately put down anyone with an opinion whatever misguided cause we think we’re fighting for will come true. These would be the same people who are too pussy to challenge governments for a re-address of grievances and the right for their freedom of speech and to tell the icky-rapey-middle-aged-white men in power to find the first cliff and fuck straight off it.

We live in the absurd reality where a generation of useless Armenians have dominion over TV shows and most of the entertainment media whilst real artists have to hear the words ‘budget cut’ a million times a day. We have a society where everything we see or hear may or may not be a fabrication for an ulterior motive. Personally I thought A Handmaid’s Tale was a fiction book but it looks like it’s close to a hard hitting documentary.

At the end of the day why bother with a civilization if you are no longer interested in being civil? Stop trying to cater to the collective masses and have some decency to do what is right – for the sake of doing what is right.

 

Now; it occurs to me that I went off topic again. But fuck it – it needed to be said. And I by no means am blaming this on social media people or anyone trying to use them properly. The internet is a tool – the problems arise what the tools become the masters and the masters become the tools.

That being said – I hope you follow me on my social media (Hmm, a tad hypocritical there Ryan – shut up, voice) and do engage with me. I want to deal with humans no accounts. I want you to tell jokes and anecdotes. I want you to share whatever it is you wanna share. It might inspire someone else.

At the very least it might inspire a story or character.

Peace out and tune in on Tuesday 29th for a cover release,

Me.

Just a pop

This post will be short and sweet – just like a pop. It’s not the usual “Ryan gets high on his own Carbon Dioxide and explains what’s up his ass in graphic and livid detail” post. That’s in a few days. 

Today I just want to draw your attention at a few things. 

1. Amber Syke Forbes. This talented dancing writer just released her debut novel When Stars Die. Romance, witches and burning nuns. Good times. 

Actually it’s a sweet romance about a young woman who discovers she’s a witch in an environment which resembles the bible-thumping witch-burning middle ages (or now if your think about it). Amber’s writing style is uniquely dark, emotional and poetic. It’s an emotional roller coaster what will leave you in tears and definitely wanting more.

It’s a  great read and you should check it out. 

Amber had some social media. Check her out. 

https://www.facebook.com/amber.s.forbes.7/about

http://amberskyeforbes.wordpress.com/

DO IT!!

 

2. 2013: A Stellar Collection.

This baby is AEC Stellar’s first anthology, or better, a short story collection. It has a story from every genre by every writer (and introducing a few new ones) published by the company.

So if you like comedy, we got it.

Romance, we got it.

dark tragedy, we got it.

alien orgies (I kid you not), we got it.

Teenagers who become rabid werewolves as a wizard with a talking cat has to try and reason with it (Take a guess as to who wrote that one), we got it.

 military, we got it.

poetic, we got it.

a nice cover, we got it

Essentially, all you can think of – We got it.

So buy a copy won’t you? 

Click here

And if you read it and liked it (even just one story) leave a review. just a few words is all we ask. 

Pretty please? @@

 

3.  Dread Night.

This is a Halloween short story I wrote as part of the Legacy series. It’s funny and brash, crude and cat-tastic. 

You’ll love it. That’s why you should buy it for just .99c. 

Click here and You’ll be even more awesome than you already are.

 

4. Do you like free crap? 

Of course we like free crap. Free crap = good. 

So I’m doing a couple giveways of Firstborn, my debut novel and here’s how you can get a free copy of it before it even hits the shelves. 

- enter my raffle (here). 

- enter a very fun Halloween costume contest hosted by my friend and talented author Collin Landis aka Strangities. My book is part of the 1st, 2nd and 3rd prize packages.

Check it out

 

That’s all folks. Make sure to keep an eye on my Facebook and Twitter @enkousama.

Oh and this blog. Duh.

Peace out.

Cover Reveal announcment

So here’s the idea everybody. I am doing an unveiling of Firstborn’s cover next Tuesday the 29th. Where – right here on this very blog. Why – because I can.

But wait, there’s more. (Now I sound like a 50′s commercial). I’m hosting a raffle and the winner will get a nice brand -spanking-new digital copy of Firstborn. How will it work? Through the magic of Rafflecopter and some dark secrets given to me by our resident media mogul Shannon Thompson. Your job is to tweet, facebook and reblog this like it’s your job. Like my facebook page (RyanAuthor), follow me on Twitter (@enkousama) and comment on this post. Click on the link at the end and participate. Points and hugs will be awarded, winners will be chosen. Well, only one actual winner but you’ll all be winners at heart.

So on the 29th, you’ll get a cover reveal, some info on the novel and one of you will win the actual thing. Mark it down, clear your schedules, contract your demons – the countdown (actually, it’s the raffle but I’m doing this for effect) starts . . .

. . .

. . . . . . . .

(la lalala lala)

. . . . .

. . . . .

(I feel pretty, oh so pretty) . . .

. . . . . .

. .

NOW!!!

Procrastination or Moderation – the fine line

Too much of a good thing is like too little – and just as harmful. Many people agree of the idea of moderation but if you’re a lazy bum like I am, you’ll quickly find yourself spending the day “Moderating” – and by that I mean playing Star Wars: The Old Republic online until your ears are bleeding, your eyes become dustballs and your ass takes on a triangular shape.

Now, normally people procrastinate to get a few seconds rest from the horrible miasma they call work, but artists live in their heads – where its always procrastination hour and the voices are eager to overcrowd. This is why you find us having really interesting and intense conversations in our car (but no one’s there) or humming to a song at the supermarket, with the pitch getting higher the closer we are to the cookie section. We gaze at the skies, looking for answers we cannot find in this mortal coil and not only do we see and think outside the box – we rent a summer house there.

Which is all well and good when you are an adult and everyone thinks you’re insane. They just change lanes.

When you’re 14 it’s a little less cool. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t like kids – I tend to talk to them as if they are actual human beings, and make the mistake of thinking they are. Which often leads to disappointment. One of life questions is; how come sex is so amazing and yet it creates those horrible monsters? And if you got offended by that – then you never had kids. All parents think that in one form or another (Maybe not as brashly as I do, but you’re there too). Another reason I don’t like kids – I never got along with them. When I was a kid living in the clouds and acting high, I got bullied. Now that I’m an adult (at least legally speaking) I still get looks of contempt and judgement. I still think that the worst judges in life are a bunch of teenage girls (What do we call a bunch of teenage girls? A cluster, a horde, a coven, a Miley?) As far as I can tell kids have one weakness – the power switch. Flip off your electricity for a day and watch them descend into madness.

Ok back on topic. The reason I brought up 14 year old me is that I used to run in the library and hide there (skive lessons where I got bullied) and read Animorphs. This was my first true fan addiction – I pretended to be in the story, to have powers, to help out the 6 heroes on their missions. I had a crush on Rachel.

Side note: Is it possible to have a crush on a name or is there some sort of magical power to that name? Every Rachel I meet is incredibly attractive, oozes sex and has enough attitude to make me shatter from the inside. Well, maybe there are a few exceptions. I only know of 4 – 2 of which are real people and only 1 of those had that effect on me. The Animorphs one was just a fantasy (cos she never existed) and then there’s Jennifer Aniston’s character on FRIENDS – which is the least attractive of all.

I mean, seriously! I was never attracted to Aniston and will argue every movie she has ever made, but I do watch FRIENDS. And for the life of me, I cannot remember I single episode in 10 seasons where her nipples don’t show from under her shirt. I mean, there’s sexy and seductive and then there’s desperate for attention. (And Lisa Kudrow is the prettiest one on the show).

And in a very weird way this brings me back to the original topic. I mean lemme translate this in a way most people will understand:

Chocolate.

Cake.

Dessert.

These are all wonderful things but you can’t have them all the time because two things will happen.

1) your stomach will write a letter of complaint and them act on it without your consent.

2) you will grow so large that you will replace the dinosaurs that used to roam the land before you and have to be buried in a piano case.

And speaking of dinosaurs: there’s a hot debate on going on right now about censorship of explicit material. As I understand it, anything which Kobo refers to as ‘Active romance’ (Cue 70′s porno music) was mercilessly cut out from the major retail stores. And as I understand it, this happens mainly with small press and self published works (The ones that cant afford to sue.) Now I don’t read romance, active or otherwise, but this is a great example of discretion and moderation.

I know, I know – art should now be limited, bla bla bla. Still, common sense should dictate that when writing for a society one must be sure that those same people wont turn on them. I’m not saying don’t have penises and erotica and hot people bending over. I’m just saying make sure it’s not the only focus of the story. You are writing a story. Not a porn flick – a novel or a piece of literature.

Now for the berating of the corporations. You fuck sticks have NO RIGHT to inhibit freedom of speech in that manner. The decent thing to do would be to classify and secure the acquisition of such material. No, underage people should not read about orgies and sibling being tied up and raped. But if some adults do want to, you have no right to impede on that right. Again, just cos you don’t support the genre doesn’t mean you cut it out. Have security, have restrictions, have passwords and tedious limitations – but have it accessible to legal, consenting consumers.

Consumers – the people PAYING YOU MONEY. You’re a corporation. YOU WANT money. Get it, you bunch of retards? You’re cutting off your own balls by doing this.

And another thing – who the fuck are you to control how I get my groove on? Perhaps beating you maid, and then raping her for a pittance that the Chinese child laborers that assembled your phone would consider change, is your sick little thing. Perhaps you like dressing up as wood animals and nibble on eachother’s genitals. Perhaps you like to pretend you’re a Catholic priest or a mad rapist. Perhaps you like getting spanked.

You don’t see me judging you. So if the only way I can get it up is by reading about a pussy-slaying velociraptor – then don’t get in my way.

side note: I’d like to let everyone know I’m dying with laughter here. I don’t know how high you gotta be to cook up a plot like that but check your dosage.

If the author of these is a guy – well no surprise there. We men are perverts.

But the author is a woman and they are worse than guys in some regards. So to the lady who created these saurians with an insatiable appetite for slutty college girls, who act very close to some frat boys but at the same time hold a data-inputting job at Google (or in this case Groogle); I ask you two things

1) gimme your number cos, Wow are you into some weird shit

2) Good luck with your sales cos something tells me its those books that these new laws are making extinct (Badum- pah).

Quick checklist: childhood trauma, check. Rachel’s nipples, check. Calling the companies I hope will sell my books retards, check. Dino-porn, check.

I read this interview where someone said that the reason they want to enforce censorship is the prevent exposure of sexual material to people, especially underage ones.

Listen up lady – by the time I was 15, me and every guy with a penis on the planet, was virtual encyclopedia of the pornsites that exist on the internet. I knew that facet of the media better than I knew the back of my hand (actually there was a relationship there, but I won’t go into details). If you want to enforce censorship, might I indicate that side of things – oh wait, you won’t shut down porn because it compromises 1/3 of the internet and you make money off of it. If explicit material would be shut down, Google will go bankrupt the next day.

That argument has the same fallacy as the one regarding the mythical correlation between violence and video games. You don’t shoot people because you play GTA or Call of Duty. You shoot people cos you’re a violent lunatic who has severe control issues. You shoot people and children in schools because you need help and because you have guns. Everyone has guns – it’s like the wild west.

And here’s the honest to God truth – guns are tools to kill people. That is their only function. So if you buy a gun – guess what you’re bound to do with it. Now I understand self-defense. I’m down with that. I just think some self-control needs to be in store here and maybe some screening of people who buy guns. I find it ironic you can buy armor piercing rounds no problem (Do deer were bulletproof vests now? ) but you get interrogated if you buy more than 2 packets of paracetamol and pain killers. And I’m not even going to tackle the medical marijuana thing. You can’t get high but you can always buy tools to kill people with and vent out your frustrations by pumping some rounds in a schoolyard. That ought to solve some issues.

And how dumb can you be to think that video games are somehow related to reality. If that were true I’d be a dragon, a wizard and a demon slayer. Instead, I only get fire with acid reflex, the only magic I can do is repel anyone with a uterus and the only demons are inside my head – where I cannot do anything but try to talk to them, which doesn’t work cos they have the attention span of a squirrel in a jam jar.

So . . . I seem to have lost the topic for this one. I have no idea how this relates to writing except you gotta take a break after a while. And I seem to have unleashed some demons here today so I’m gonna go ahead and take that pat on the back.

On a professional note (This should be good) next week is the release of the AEC Stellar short story collection or anthology. Whatever it’s called (Professional!!!). I know everyone says this about their colleagues but I have read some short stories from other fellows and they are great. It’s a diverse collection so you’ll find your genre there. If you like them, or just the one, leave a review or a comment. Those will help us way more than you think. Even a ‘good job’ or “I liked it” will suffice. My action, comedy, urban fantasy story (See the professionalism? can you taste it?) Big Wolf on Campus will be featured there too (no relation to the show but I did grow up in the 90′s).

I have a short story coming out on Halloween called Dread Night and it takes place on, you guessed it, Christmas. I mean, All Hallows Eve. Again, it’s part of the Legacy series (as is Big Wolf) which means its a blend of action, urban fantasy and comedy. (essentially a more subtle version of the dick jokes in my blog posts.) I’m sure you’ll like it – and if you do I’ll like you in turn. I like giving out certain short stories for free or at .99c as specials – it’s my way of saying thanks to the reader for supporting my writing. I can’t always promise it cos my manager will castrate me, but I like being nice to my fans ( the few I have left).

So on this note (before the demons come out again) I shall leave you.

Bye and adieu,

Ryan and (imaginary) friend (With these fun brackets)

 

‘Hobby’ – the Word I hate most

Today’s post is a little harsh; although you could have guessed that just by reading the title. (It’s also the first post I’m writing on WordPress and not Blogspot, so hurray for me I guess.) As most of you know I am a full-time writer.

Let me re-phrase that.

You know this thing called a job that mankind invented because we are a greedy species – I have that. I make a living from writing stories. Or at least that’s where I’m headed – I’ll have some financial numbers by next year and hopefully the constant questioning in my head will take on another subject matter.

But I guess being a writer, or indeed any form of artist, is more of a lifestyle choice than simply a job. We love what we do, otherwise we won’t do it. And, of course, not everyone approves of the lifestyle or even the idea of art and they have every right to that belief and prerogative. I am a firm believer that everyone should maintain their opinion so long as it does not harm anyone and is justified.

What I will not tolerate is the constant questioning. I am sick and tired of people I know and even those I don’t, questioning why I do this gig full-time or why am I wasting my life.

Here’s why – It’s my life (Add the rest of the Bon Jovi lyrics here).

And, yes I get it – it is a ‘glamorous’ and  ‘unusual’ lifestyle to live inside the stories you create, at least to you as an outsider. I am down with the questions and the explanations. What I do not get is why do you seek to undermine my choices by making my justify them to you. It is clear I’m not gonna convince you since you’re close minded and tight assed.

And I am sick and freakin’ tired of hearing the word Hobby.

Let’s get something straight. A hobby is something you do in your spare time. It’s relaxing, engaging and healthy for you. It’s a break from your daily routine. And I’m pretty damn sure you don’t spend more than a couple of hours on a hobby, even if you’re lucky enough to do it daily.

Here are my facts: I spend between 6-8 hours (full time hours) in writing every day. That is the bare minimum. When I was re-writing and editing Firstborn, I put in 13 hour days.

Yes, that’s right. Half a day of just sitting down, bullying your brain into working, constantly trudging through doubts and at the same time making sure that your book is likable enough to sell but also likable enough by me so that I could live with it for the rest of my life.

And in order to do that I sacrifice everything – friends, relationships, better monetary offers, going on trips and seeing friends which live a continent away (literally) and sometimes even my health.

Why am I saying this? I don’t want to be the martyr. I made the choice and I have absolutely no right to bitch about it.

I just want you to understand – what I just described is not the definition of a Hobby.

So when you smile condescendingly at me, pitying me for being naive enough to believe in my talent and abilities, and telling me that, no you know best and I am wasting my time: then you are offending me. When you compare what I do to something as insignificant as a hobby, you automatically lump all my hard work with whatever gets you off.

And don’t get me wrong, I’m not gonna cry about it or act all messed up. A true artist has iron skin. What I’m saying is don’t get offended if I shut you out or reply in the same condescension with which you presented to me.

I’ll leave you with a story that perfectly illustrates what I’m talking about. I’m out with a couple of friends. Some random guy knew one of our friends. He came over and we chat. He is older and clearly a know-it-all. When he hears what I do this is what he says

“You’re 22. You still have time to realize what a waste of time that is and get a real job.”

I remain calm, because he is not worth my anger, and reply with this.

“Yes I am 22. But I see it in a different way. In just 3 years, in my young age, I have written 2 books, written 4 short stories, self-published a book, started 2 series and gotten myself a contract.

I ask you Sir, what did you do at age 22? Oh right, I know. You played beer pong with your douchebag friends and jerked off to pictures of Sasha Grey. You led such a fulfilling life that here you are, talking down on me. You’ve done nothing all night but indicate flaws and issues with our choices. If the only way you can get off is by shitting all over my dreams, I invite you to go fuck straight off. Because between the two of us, come next Monday, I’ll be the one looking forward to living my life. So please, get off my dick.”

I may have altered some words, mostly because there was a lot of roundabouts and a lot more swear words. But I guess the point was driven home.

No we did not fight. I simply glared at him and left. As did my friends.

So I guess the lesson here is: If you have genuine interest in what I do and wish to ask anything, please do so. I’m not as much of an asshole as this post makes me seem.

I think.

If, however, you just wanna question my every move and just wish to drag me down into that horrible miasma that is your sad, sad life, simply because you’re too much of a pussy to do anything about it – well, get off my dick.

 

Peace,

Me