I’m still alive and why

Wow I realized I haven’t posted anything up here for a while – time to remedy that. Guess life as an author isn’t as ‘chill’ as most of the people I knew think. And it’s not like I have an actual topic to write about, unlike other blogs. Instead, as the few followers who read this think know by now, my prose is directed solely by a mixture of insanity and bouts of creative genius.
Not sure about that last one, but you’ll get plenty of the first.

So what have you been up to Ryan?
I am so glad you asked audience. As most of you know I am now published by AEC Stellar Publishing (pretty much the most awesome group of people around – and I’m not saying that just because I signed a contract with them). Firstborn (version 2 – aka the real deal) will be out in December, and I am extremely happy to cross that sucker off of my to-do list. Don’t get me wrong; I loved writing it. That book is 3 years of my life and the formation of myself as an author.
I’m just saying that, after 3 rewrites, I’m glad to move on to other projects.

Like the Pandora Chronicles.

I’m sure there’s a post here somewhere about that, but I’m too lazy to stifle through my own crap to find it. I want you to understand something: this is my ‘relaxing-after-work’ time. I am watching episodes of Friends, Saint Seiya (the 1986 version, cos why not?) and reviewing a book by a fellow AEC author (I won’t say anything else cos I’m not sure where I stand legally and I can’t afford a lawsuit.) Well, no one can afford a lawsuit, not in this day and age. I’m surprised we all don’t just wear metal detectors and prowl beaches for those long lost tapes proving the landing on the moon was in reality just wanker on a trampoline who got high in a completely different sense of the word.

So anyway – back to my shit.
The Pandora Chronicles is the second series I”m currently working on in conjunction with the Legacy series. I have Book 1 of Pandora Chronicles halfway done and it is a blast. Sci-Fi alien gods and high speed chases on boats with helicopters.
I’m gonna give y’all a minute to digest that. (And I will get Nashville out of my vocabulary).
No offense Nashville – love the show.

I have also completed Book 2 of the Legacy series. I don’t have a title yet – I hate those suckers. How is it possible to write a 55+K (Or in this case somewhere close to 90k) words and then blank out on 1 word? Or a phrase?
I mean It’s Just One Word! Mathematically speaking (now all the authors hate me) it should be the easiest thing in the world.
Our minds work in mysterious ways. Sorry I meant to say, retarded.

And please nobody get offended on my use of certain adjectives. If you’re sensitive about my completely objective and innocent (since I’m not actually referring to a person but rather an object which can scientifically be proven not to exist) use of the term ‘retarded’ – well, guess what you are.

Wow. Am I unleashing the beast tonight.
No not that beast. (Although I could be persuaded for a small fee)

Get back on topic Ryan.
There is no topic. What can I tell these nice people (some of whom I called retards)? I can’t mention that I am working on two pilots right now – one for a serialized fiction series and one for a script. None of those things have been finalized, you see. They are my secret projects, my Area 51s.

I’m also not planning to let this blog run cold. I think if I could spout 2 lines of bullshit every week, that should keep the 7 people reading this happy.
Maybe I should start a podcast. It’ll be just me and my muse – and she’ll totally dominate me because she’s an utter bitch.
More like a dominatrix.

She’s like a siren which I constantly follow, only to find myself drowning and in a stick situation where I’m forced to trade my singing voice to a tentacled fat lady and montage with a performing crab/lobster. And if you didn’t get my Little Mermaid reference – checkity check yourself.
That’s my muse in a nut shell – a beautiful, bitch siren and whenever she visits, I have to put her on my To-do list.
(High five to all the perverts out there who got the joke. That was a hard one to work in. Oh, there I go again.)

Until next time guys.
Stay tuned,
Me. Whoever the fuck I am.

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2 comments on “I’m still alive and why
  1. Love this. You’re so technically (and technically) you :]
    ~SAT

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