Fuck the Gate

This one goes out to all the people who said I’ll never make it and/or all the trolls out there:


Fuck the Gate


There once was a story,

In strange times it was set.

No villages and strata

Yet demands were all met


A villager decided to set on a path

To become a warrior, strong and true.

So he packed his arms, sword and gun,

And a few magic stones too.


‘you cannot do that,’

The elder had said

‘on such a journey

You’ll surely end up dead.’


But the warriors strode forwards

Without a pause

For he knew his journey

Was the right course and cause.


He entered the Erlking’s forest

Of dark creatures and fae

But none of those beings

Held the warrior at bay


His biggest obstacle

Was a bridge and a troll

Who he met be accident

During a natural call


The bridge was a crossing

To get to the King

He would complete the quest

And the bards shall sing


But the troll stopped him.

As the warrior knew he would

‘mortal being, you have

No place within these woods.’


So the warrior built a raft

And flew with magic through the sky.

The troll stood amazed

Who knew that little shit could fly?


The story ends

With man and Erlking

The warrior returns

And the bards do sing


But the moral, my friends

Is far and wide

And by no rule

Did that warrior abide.


So should you too

Screw those trends,

Liberty is yours

My dear friends.


And for those of you dimwits

Let me translate:

Fuck the Gatekeepers

And Fuck the Gate.

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