SFFS

This is the final submission for SFFSat for a while. This is the last part of Chapter 3 of FirstBorn, my YA Urban Fantasy novel. Thank you for those who bought it and left reviews. I’ll be back once I have something I’m comfortable with it leaving my computer or the dark recesses of my mind. 

On a happier note, here is the link to last week’s post, which this piece finishes off: http://enkousama.blogspot.com/2013/03/sffs_15.html
Read them together and there should be a joke in here somewhere. Or not. 
Either way, enjoy.

I opened the door and was greeted by a short young girl dressed in an olive green, Victorian-style suit, complete with an ascot and a cloak. Her platinum-blond hair gleamed in the afternoon sun and her skin seemed to glisten. Her penetrating green eyes matched my own color but burned with an intensity that seemed to weigh your soul and then judge accordingly.
The girl broke the slowly increasingly awkward silence. “Hello, brother.”
I shook myself out of my daze. Just seeing my sister mere feet away from me was enough to induce anxiety. Over the years I had learned that the only way to deal with stress is to laugh and occasionally give in to minor bouts of madness. 
I gave in. 
Glancing toward the sky, as if praying, I said, “Good one.”
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19 comments on “SFFS
  1. Starr O'Hara says:

    Love this phrase: "…burned with an intensity that seemed to weigh your soul and then judge accordingly." Sounds like one of those less than pleasant family reunions!

  2. taraquan.com says:

    You did a wonderful job with the description. I can really picture her in my head.

  3. Mad Writer says:

    Oh you have no idea. Hehe

  4. I guess only Sam Spade gets the beautiful dames….I'm sure the last person he wanted was his sister! nice!

  5. Mad Writer says:

    Yeah. His sister cock blocks him even on the fourth wall

  6. S A Check says:

    Nice set up for the "sister" surprise and some great details and tension. I liked the last line, really defines the character through dialogue.

  7. Lots of nice phrases in that excerpt! Curious about this sister. Why did she come now?

  8. I love the elements of this: the details, high emotion and look into his relationship with his sister. There's a great amount of tension in this. Great snippet.

  9. Mad Writer says:

    Well I can't really tell but it's not good news for Erik lemme tell you that

  10. Mad Writer says:

    Thank you 🙂 I try my best to give Erik a painful life

  11. Ahh… enter the antagonist?

  12. Very nice. I sense she's not exactly happy to see him…and vice versa.

  13. Mad Writer says:

    Evil twin sister. No one is happy to see that

  14. TKToppin says:

    Since I read it already, I'll just keep my mouth shut. But, as I thought the first time, great description on the sister! 😀

  15. Mad Writer says:

    Yay. Thank you. Creepy people are so much fun to play around with

  16. scwade says:

    Excellent snippet! And his reaction is great!!!

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