The one where I don’t thoroughly fuck up

Hello people of Earth – I have returned.

Surely you’ve come to expect me now (what with me doing this every week and everything) but to the new comers I say “Hello you wonderful people, welcome to this weird collection of therapy sessions, behind the scenes editions and incessant ranting about various topics of now importance what-so-fucking-ever to your daily life . . .  also known as my brain”

To the people who regularly read this site, (and I know you’re there cos you send me tweets, facebook messages and comments here, often involving various topics of a tentacled nature) I say to you “welcome back, Acolytes”

Seriously though: I gotta stop this whole tentacle thing before some blogging fucker decides to ruin my career by putting a video of me sucking a Hentai porn tentacle in various poses whilst “I’m blue” or “Hit me Baby one more time” plays in the back. (Just please no Skrillex – well maybe “Bangarang”)

It’s a weird moment when you realize that you’re practically handing your innermost secrets to random people on a blog.

(So you’re just a whore, Ryan?)

Shut up.

(Seriously, do people read this? Are there still people here, trying to read this thinly veiled semi-Schizophrenic attempt to justify your decision to tell everyone to go fuck themselves whilst you shut in, listen to strange music and write stories about wizards who cant get laid and their talking pets?)

Hang on – sorting out issues.

– gets bat –

(Ow! Fuck! Hey calm – fuck!!)

OK we can go on now.

(Just wait till you fall asleep. Then I’ll make you dream about that thing again. You know – where the thing happens with the girl and the guy and the world dies and the cat is king and I make you my bitch? that one)

Moving on.

Many of you may wonder what I’m up to now that Hibernation period has started – and my answer would be a very lazy “Not much”

this is true.

I have handed in Legacy book 2 to my manager and have failed to hear from him. I hope that this is due to the book being 99,000 words long and not to the fact that aliens have abducted him. It is a distinct possibility though and they are posting pictures of him surrounded by family just as a decoy whilst they poke, prod and otherwise stuff him like a turkey.

(Do you guys have turkey on Christmas? We had lamb – cos you know, Jesus. Warning: you will not get the joke unless you have a deep understanding of Catholicism and a very dark sense of humor coupled with an utter disbelief in any religious establishment )

this is the shit I think about whist you guys are at work!

that aside, I have halted pretty much everything.

The serialized fiction series came to a chopping stop because of editing Legacy book 2, but I wanna pick up the pieces soon.

Pandora Chronicles book 1 is finished, but it needs to go through a heavy edit before I even think of sending it to anyone. I respect my manager way too much to send him a book that mangled.

(Funny how I won’t make him read an unedited book and yet, I have no problem with having him abducted by aliens)

Fun fact: If you have the paperback edition of Firstborn (check out my Legacy tab to get it) You’ll notice a sword handle with the number 1 at the very bottom of the spine. That’s the Legacy logo we plan to put on every book with the number of the book in the circle. Neat huh?

My manager came up with that and he designed it himself !!!

So what else? I have two assignments left to turn in before I graduate from an online course I’m in, and a start the other one concerning script writing. But the college is closed so there’s no point in me turning them in.

Besides, I’ve decided that until the New Year, I’ll spend my days doing exactly Fuck Nothing.

That means – read books, play Dungeons and Dragons online, chat on Facebook with people who I can actually tolerate and may actually like for a change, watch anime, read blog posts, and of course your reviews.

And i say this knowing it’s a bit of a lie.


I am horribly addicted to my work. When I say, take a week off, the best I can manage is 4 days. After than I start writing down ideas

– which become part of an existing storyline

– which then becomes a book outline

– which then becomes a chapter, then another, then another

– which then becomes a book

Which is really OK. I have a great job which is very tiring and at times, for various reasons, frustrating.

But then one of you guys says something to me, or comments, or tweets something, and then I realize that my job is one of the most rewarding careers out there.

So in a way, you guys are funding my habit. Which is really cool.

(See? you though I was gonna bring down the repressed anger into a touching, sensitive moment – and then I fucked you by likening you to drug dealers)

there are no winners.

Only insane people and those who read their work.

Peace out

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