It’s a Rap

8 Mile, one of the most awesome movies ever. You all should watch it . . . NOW!  Go, I'll wait

8 Mile, one of the most awesome movies ever. You all should watch it . . . NOW!
Go, I’ll wait


First off, if you read the title as ‘rape’ there’s something wrong with you. I mean don’t get me wrong I’m not judging your hobbies or anything. Personally I’m not much for rape because I have sensitive ears and the screams are so untasteful.

. . .

(Great, Ryan – open with a rape joke. That should make you popular)

(Ryan tell these people you are joking, before they show up with torches and pitchforks)

Sarcasm aside, I just wanted to talk about the music style, the urban poetry that is rap. Of course I understand that not everyone likes the same thing.

(What am I Pol Pot?)

(Maybe Hitler . .  NEIN!) (Only one ! cos it’s communist)

Shh, motherfuckers you’re gonna get me in trouble. Anyway, back on topic (yeah good luck with that shit), I honestly think that any wordsmith (that’s a word people, grab a fuckin’ dictionary) should at least have a look at some lyrics.

You see rap is mostly built using precise words to create rhythm. It’s in essence copy editing, or copy writing, but with a beat to it. Shakespeare (We prefer Marlowe – Deadly sins and shit. Faustus was the bomb)(Let the fucker finish a sentence!) used it back in his day to create an iambic pentameter, or perhaps you prefer Poe with his Trochee lines.

*Sigh* Go on.

(Poe . . . if goths had a forefather it’d be him)

(Seriously. That’s the best you can come up with)

(I don’t do well under pressure)

(That’s why you don’t get a say in our social life)

What social life?

Back on topic: if words are your tool (hahahaha . . . sorry, keep going) (that’s what she said) you want to have the best ones around. But it’s not enough to know five different alternatives for “said” – placement is important. Words in a certain sequence conjure up a specific image in a person’s mind and you want to make sure to properly convey your message. (That’s some weird Mentalist shit – Shout out to my homie Simon Baker) (We never met the guy) (It’s nice to have dreams)

Know what it’s also nice to have? Rhythm. We subconsciously create natural rhythm in our speech patterns and THAT is the secret to good dialogue writing.

Don’t believe me? Have your book read for an audiobook. Or just read the damn thing yourself out loud and LISTEN. You’ll know if it doesn’t feel right. (It usually feesl like being punched in the dick – but you know, verbally)

There’s also an huge upside to listening to rap: listen for a long enough time and you start talking in rhyme. You have no idea how good it feels, to have so many people so damn displeased, listen to the voices and flow with ease

(And if you a little crazy, call that extra cheese)

See? Annoying as three flies up your nostrils.

(But two is OK – damn time shares)

That’s it – I’m done with this atrocity. Roll credits. (Wait. The lizard. Brand motherfucker, brand!)

Oh right.

Follow the lizard. Peace.


rap cartoons

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